i’m turning 21

here’s what i’m leaving behind:

.

the times i almost kissed you

in a room of hectic paintings.

the times i did kiss you

under a cherry blossom,

mending our bruises with more kisses

until they turned from purple

to blue

to pure

.

the nights our faces streamed

with tears & our stomachs knotted

thinking about the time you fell down

the stairs.

the nights when i would clean your room

with you, collecting an assortment

of perfume caps & scraps of art

you would piece together later

.

the feeling of life dimming

down as easy as sunset.

the feeling i’d get when i caught myself in a

mirror

.

here’s what’s changed:

i’m 1 year wiser, lavender is my favorite color, the sun on my skin feels nicer, my family is the most loving, my hair is long, i love myself, i realize the importance of a clear mind, i have the bestest best friends, my nails look somewhat normal, i see the little things…

life is beautiful. xo

(4/13/19)