four years.

this place has really helped me, i can’t explain it. it’s seen me cry more than all the people who have seen me cry combined. echoed more beaming smiles back at me while i’ve watched stars tease me behind bright clouds. i think i like the sound the most (after the beautiful calmness of course). it sounds like the white noise machines in my counselor’s office & lets me just breathe. so many hours spent sitting here until the cool concrete radiates its numbness into my back, my ass & calves. just three dim lights greeting & sitting with me, illuminating the perfectly checkered, black window sills.

tonight, all the lights turned on. it was telling me don’t leave. a man walked up some stairs inside that i didn’t know existed. i thought he was coming to confiscate my four years of good luck. all he did was walk the perimeter & leave.

i’ve only taken two people here with me. it’s usually my own stage, always kept glowing from the ever changing hues of pinks, blues, greens, violets…

(12/2/19)