it’s always right before he/she/i leaves. maybe for good, usually not going very far but always this sort of end sneaking upon us.

hurry, kiss them! wear their oversized shirt to bed lying next to them! have sex! tell them you lov—

ideally, you make as many memories as you can & you do it fast. you’ll both exist on your own, but never again will time together be exactly the same. even though these people are all alive & well, i mourn them. i cry. think about them often. smile at myself when i smell them somewhere or hear their laugh again.

this person you see staring back into your eyes is that way only for that moment. not again in one week or one month or eight years.

i’ll miss the green, blue & brown eyes that i’ve shared these silent conversations with. it’s nothing that i can explain with words. all i know is how important that eye contact was because in those few seconds / minutes void of distraction, i got to know them down to the soul.

& even though i can’t explain what i’m talking about as clearly as i’d like to, you get exactly what i’m saying.

people in our lives might seem like they’re coming at the wrong time, but it’s exactly right. sometimes you have to let them go, but they serve a purpose you’ll finally be grateful for later on.

just like they aren’t the same, neither am i. but each set of eyes aids in our inner progress.

it’s all right. just trust & live on.

(1/5/20)